Many years ago in a workshop I was facilitating, a participant shared a metaphor that resonated for the whole group. The metaphor was of the ocean floor during a hurricane and how calm it is, even as the top of the ocean is wildly erratic and stormy. The participant used the metaphor in her own life as she faced a life-threatening illness. She said the ocean floor image became an anchor for her to hold in her heart as she went through a very difficult time.
I have often thought of this image when I am experiencing challenges or difficulties around me. Sometimes it feels like hurricane season all the time, with little breaks in between to regroup, and the need to find a center and hold onto it becomes a daily activity, not a once in awhile event.
Recently I have felt a strong sense of unrest, fear, and edginess in my own life. I haven’t been in this space for awhile. Now from one perspective, I know that this is my own process of transformation: changes are taking place and I am aware of them, and I’m having a hard time finding my center and feeling grounded. As a small business owner and coach with a vision for transforming the status quo, I have found myself on very shaky ground, sometimes even grasping for dangling branches as I try not to look down. I have brought myself to an edge again, though this time it feels like a turning point in my life. Either things work out or I completely shift my focus and go get a “real job.” That is where I’m at in this moment. It’s a transparent look inside my head.
Holding to the ocean floor metaphor allows me the opportunity to slow things down, look from another perspective and make a choice that is clear, in line with my values, and gives me a sense of empowerment. Even writing this down has been a helpful experience. So in the spirit of sharing and always looking for the learning for my own sake and yours, here are some ways you can also apply this process in your own life.
Step One: recognize the space you’re in. Are things feeling out of control? Some clues are difficulty in making decisions, a lack of energy, trouble sleeping even though you’re exhausted, and a general feeling of discontent. Can you name what you’re feeling? Once you have a sense of it it’s easier to do something about it.
Step Two: If you’ve ever done any personal development work before, go back a structure that worked for you. It might be listening to your favorite music, talking to a friend or writing in a journal. Choose a structure and spend some time remembering what’s important to you. Another great exercise to do is to write down 10 things you’re grateful for or 10 things you’re proud of. Shifting your energy to what works vs. staying in that energy of what doesn’t work, will serve you more in step three.
Step Three: List out your options. What choices do you have? This is like a big brainstorming session and it’s important to allow every possible choice to surface, even the ones that seem ridiculous or absurd.
Step Four: If you didn’t do so in the step above, look at each choice again and consider possible outcomes for each option you wrote down. Literally try on that choice- stand up, move to another space and “try it on.” How does it feel? What do you imagine will happen? Write down any insights you have. Say each choice out loud and pay attention to your body- which ones resonate or feel the most “alive.”
Step Five: Now take some action, any action. Notice the fear you feel even reading that statement. It’s OK to feel afraid. Remember courage is acting in spite of your fear. Do something anything, and see what happens.
Someone told me recently that dreams are a waste of time. They cannot afford to dream. Dreams have kept me alive and helped me overcome difficult circumstances in my life from the time of my earliest memories. Of course they were not all going to come true. I don’t think that was the point. The dreams made it possible for me to get through my challenges with a smile, a determination, and a sense of hope. If that is a fool’s dream then call me a fool. I’m ok with that.
So after listing out my options and trying several on, a few stick out. I want to continue being a coach; that is the bottom line. I love what I do, I love helping others and I am so committed to finding ways of making a difference on a large scale. To that end I have created a sister non-profit agency to Living Forward so that I can offer coaching to specifically empower the lives of individuals and organizations who are in transition, experiencing hardship, or who are disenfranchised in any way. What this work is teaching me is that nothing extraordinary gets done working alone. The Living Forward Foundation is formed and the paperwork is nearly complete. If you want to be an early supporter of this work, let me know. Send me an email suzanne@livingforwardllc.com or reply here. I need start-up funds to get the Foundation off the ground. This is my choice- to stick with my purpose and passion of making a difference as a coach out in the world. It is my way of leveling the playing field.
Thank you for reading, for supporting, and for witnessing the process. You are all amazing!
Suzanne
BTW for other cool ocean floor images, check out this link