This past week my partner’s mother died. At 92, she was frail and withered by the time death reached out its hand to pull her close. Still the loss of a parent is sad and there will be that empty place at the table to remind us of her missing. Marybeth spent this last year completing and transforming the relationship she had with her mom. When death came, she was ready to say thank you and let her go. In the days to come she will remember without regret the blessings and burdens of their life together.
Death is completion of one thing and the beginning of another, depending on your beliefs and ideas. I am curious and have no idea what’s next, though it does not cause me to be fearful or anxious. Death is simply the next stepping off place.
What I am more interested in is living life without regret and cleaning up the debris of my life – the people I may have forgotten or hurt, those I may have stepped on to get to the next level of success – the small and large acts of neglect or unkindness – these are the lingerings that clutter up the art of letting go.
We plan (and that’s a good thing) as though life stretches out before us with years of promise ahead, yet what is true is this “we never know” when our time on this planet will end. Knowing that, I plan and then live moment to moment slurping up life, like a juicy cold peach on a summer’s day, taking it all in and enjoying every minute I am granted a place on the planet.
Life and death walk hand in hand, partners in this adventure we call living. I am at peace with that and grateful that each experience can broaden and shape me in the moment. Marybeth’s mothers name is Irma, an old fashion German name. Irma immigrated to the United States when she was five. She married John (who died when he was 90.) together they had seven children, numerous grandchildren and shared 65 years of marriage. The universe was blessed by their presence as were those whose lives they touched – may peace and joy follow them wherever they are. Though the family is sad, and in the next week they will gather together and recall memories from childhood and growing. They also hold the knowledge that 92 is a long and good life. For now, in this moment, Irma and Marybeth are complete with each other and that’s the miracle of a life well lived.
Do you have a story about completion in your own life? I’d love to hear it…
Lou