February is Cupids big day. I pondered the many times I fell in and then quickly fell out of love. Those momentary flirts melted away, like winter ice when touched by the heat of the Sun – ever so brief. Shelves of chocolate, candies and cards beckon to us, is your Love worthy of a gift?

To whom have you given love? Have they been worthy?

Stop. Let’s start at the beginning. The single most important love interest in your life is you. You are your first love. You are the one deserving of the gift of self-love. How could be otherwise, because you are a gift to the world.

Consider that you cannot give to others what you don’t have. To love and respect another begins with loving and respecting yourself. When growing up, my mother reminded me that loving myself was a self-centered selfish way to see life. Only later did I discover that loving begins with me. A love rooted in charity, forgiveness and compassion is generative, life giving. It took years to realize that the seed of every failure was not fault, merely the action of the adventurer searching for herself.

I listened to the stories other told me, about me, you know the ones that start with, “not enough.” Not good enough, pretty enough, thin enough, smart enough, I could go on. I believed them, for a while.

Now I know I am deserving of love because I found a way to love myself. Every day I breathe this gift into the world.  All that time spent suffering was not wasted though. When I fell, I scraped myself off the ground and was stronger, more resilient, in awe of my courage.

I forged a relationship to self that was sustained through daily practice. It’s hard work, reclaiming yourself from the stories other tell you, about you. The most important voice in my arsenal is the one I carry within myself.

Take a few minutes to ponder this: In what ways do you understand that Love begins inside you? Can you look in the mirror and see the gift you are? When are you not enough? Think of the ways you where you can love self and discover the importance of knowing you before you know others.

NEXT WEEK: What stops us from taking our life back