Do you ever get the feeling? You know the one. “I’m so tired, I don’t want to, why am I doing this, there is too much to do and not enough time to do it.” Then a sort of panic sets in as you realize just how much you have to do and sometimes self doubt sets in, “You’ll never get this done, you always overbook…” While most of us want to live in some sort of harmonious existence with the images of peace and tranquility floating through our minds, the reality is many of us live in a state of too much to do and too little time to do it. If you have children or other responsibilities, it only intensifies.
The path described above is what I call, “going down the rabbit hole.” The more we fixate on everything we have to do, the less we actually get done. I realized that one day when I was feeling overwhelmed. I was so focused on all that I had to do, that after about an hour, I had not done anything except fret and worry about how I was going to get everything done.
I’ve seen the same thing happen to my children: too much homework and not enough planning. One day my older daughter was upset and complaining about everything she had to do and as she was getting more agitated, she spilled a cup of tea and broke one of her favorite cups. I stepped in, helped her to clean up the mess, made her a fresh cup of tea, and listened as she told me what she had to do. I helped her refocus on one task first, we played some soft music and soon she was able to finish what she was doing. That doesn’t always happen nor am I always that present to the moment, though after years of doing this work, I am happy that I’m able to recognize it and respond in ways that are more helpful and don’t add to the stress.
You can do the same thing for yourself. There are a few thoughts I’ve developed to help me through those times when I am feeling overwhelmed. They are:
· “What are my choices?”
· “What do I want?”
· “I choose to do this.”
By realizing that I am at choice, I am able to reclaim my power in the moment, refocus myself, and then pick 1 thing to work on and get that done first. If I focus on the present and try not to think of everything else I have to do, it slows me down and I am able to get through whatever it is I’m doing. It has taken time and practice, with many breakdowns and failures along the way, to develop this skill. It also supports the notion that things do change, and not every week is as busy. If I find myself too busy or overcommitted, it is up to me to change it- say no- and let some things go.
Ultimately we get to choose how we spend our time, who we spend it with, what we want to get done or achieve, and what we think is important. Sometimes you have to put up orange cones around yourself and just take care of you.
What special strategies have you developed over the years? Please share them. I am always on the lookout for more strategies and with the Holidays approaching, now is a good time to think about it.