For the past few years, I’ve been working in the area of change. It seems to be the topic of the day in organizations everywhere I go. What I’ve come to understand more fully though, is that true change is more like transformation. The change that most scares people is the change that alters the familiar or known into something entirely different. Knowing that it is going to be different can cause people to cling to the familiar or the past because it’s what they know. While this occurs in an intellectual way, it is also very primal. At some level, people respond strictly with their emotions around change and if the unknown is too scary, they will resist.
We all have an edge where this energy lives. Effective leaders search out their edges because they also know this is where growth and potential lives. We have statements to describe this: going over the edge, being pushed to the edge. Intense training programs like the Navy Seals for example, deliberately take people to those edges and then beyond. Which brings me to the point of this article. Are you using all your resources and capacity in your life to fully manifest whatever it is you do? My guess is no. Most of us don’t push those edges because we live in the comfort zone- or we simply do not have to go to our edges to create a comfortable life.
A few years ago I was leading a leadership training session and there was a participant who was wheelchair-bound and paralyzed from his chest down. He was incredibly intelligent, articulate, and insightful. I also observed throughout the day how his coworkers interacted and assisted him with everything from eating, to use the restroom. He hadn’t been with the company for very long and he had been brought in at a leadership role. At the time I marveled at how caring his coworkers were and how amazing it was that this company valued him and accommodated his physical challenges in order to benefit from his expertise.
What made me think of him recently was this very idea that most of us will never have to tap into deep inner resources for mere survival, let alone anything else, like this man did. He was incredibly smart and articulate and I imagine he was also good at creating connections with others because he has to. It didn’t diminish him as an authority figure in that room. There was no doubt about his role or his capability. He had found a way to transcend his physical limitations and unleash his inner capacity to engage, connect, and contribute all he has to offer. It also causes those around him to accept his contributions and perhaps challenge their own biases and preferences.
So how does one begin to find one’s edge? Thankfully we don’t have to endure an injury or event that forces us to do this. We can grow beyond our own edges with intention by putting ourselves in uncomfortable situations or doing things beyond our comfort zones. For example, I don’t like making calls randomly on the phone and yet it is such a great way to connect with others. I can give myself a quota each week. Or better yet, I can go beyond the quota. Mohammad Ali was once asked how many sit-ups he did each day. He said he didn’t know because he would only start counting the hard ones. Pushing your edges and going past them when you can is one way to begin tapping into those inner resources. Be intentional about that. Have conversations with people who make you feel a little uncomfortable (please don’t jeopardize your safety and consider why they make you uncomfortable). If the idea of eating alone in a restaurant makes you feel funny, take yourself on a date night- seriously. You’ll be better for having done it. In workplaces, have difficult conversations that get to the heart of what is really important and most of all, resist having the conversation with anyone other than the person you need to. If you’re into exercise, keep building on what you do by practicing Mohammad Ali’s philosophy and call it, one more: one more mile, one more sit-up, one more phone call. Whatever your edge is, keep pressing it and moving past it. Over time, you’ll see the growth you didn’t know was possible.
Do you feel like you never have enough time or energy to do everything you want to do? Are you worn out by the end of the day, or wake up feeling that way? Have you ever been told you need to get better at time management?
The 20-minute webinar includes a 10-page booklet called, “Companion to Energy vs Time” Begin making the changes today for a healthier and happier future now.